6 Out Of 10 Americans Cannot Locate Payless Shoes On A Mall Map
From The Onion: America's Finest News Source
WASHINGTON—An alarming new study conducted by the Department of Education has found that 60 percent of all Americans are unable to locate the major retail outlet Payless Shoes when presented with an ordinary shopping-center map.
Secretary of Education Margaret Spellings, who personally monitored the study, said that the United States ranked behind 130 other nations when it came to mall-map comprehension—an embarrassment considering one-third of the countries surveyed didn't even have shopping centers.
"The drop, Spellings said, is especially evident in the sciences, with countless men and women lacking the rudimentary math skills needed to follow an episode of Deal Or No Deal."
"Our nation is every bit as educated and well informed today as it was 20 years ago," Michigan resident Dale Henderson said. "If anything, we know more football and hockey trivia now than ever before."
When parody imitates life...we are in trouble.
When the national education secretary makes watching "Survivor", "Deal or No Deal", or "American Idol" sound like the national goal, we know we are in trouble!
What happened to colonizing the moon or Mars? Or severing our dependance of fossil fuels? Reversing global warming? Regaining lost leadership in many of the high tech areas? I find it highly discouraging that our leaders don't set challenging goals any more. But then again, our schools seem to produce those who can't even read a mall map.
I think Bob is on the right mission. Please keep producing sequels to your 2 million minutes until our leaders GET IT!!
Posted by: Oregonreader | May 20, 2008 at 06:28 PM