The Two Million Minutes Blog

The economy is so bad...

A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico.

Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.

I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

African television stations are now showing 'Sponsor an American Child' commercials.

I bought a toaster oven, and my free gift with purchase was a bank.

I ordered a burger at McDonald's, and the kid behind the counter asked,
"Can you afford fries with that?"

CEO's are now playing miniature golf.

If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you call them and ask if they meant you or them.

McDonald's is selling the 1/4 ouncer.

Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America.

Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children's names.

My cousin had an exorcism but couldn't afford to pay for it, and they repossessed her!

Motel 6 won't leave the light on anymore.

A picture is now only worth 200 words.

When Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room.

Congress says they are looking into this Bernard Madoff scandal. Oh great!
The guy who made $50 billion disappear is being investigated by the people
who made $1.5 trillion disappear!

And, finally...

I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Hotline. I got a call center in Pakistan, and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck...

Improved Testing For Lazy, Apathetic Kids

This just in... (ignore the 5 second commercial)

In The Know: Are Tests Biased Against Students Who Don't Give A Shit?

China Flexes Its Political and Economic Muscles

With China passing Japan and becoming the second largest economy in the world (behind only the U.S.), Chinese leadership is flexing it's political and economic muscles.

Having just returned from a trip to Xi'an and Shanghai , I can attest to the sense of a growing confidence in the Chinese.

Americans are generally unaware of the vast economic reach of China. More than a million Chinese now live in east Africa - buying up mineral rights and establishing businesses there - from retail to mining to manufacturing.

Even in Afghanistan, the Chinese are staking out territory and moving people into the area, while Americans are fighting and dying to protect everyone's interests.

More Americans need to realize a global shift is happening - from the West to the rapidly growing Asian countries, particularly China and India - each with over a billion people.

While China and India both have risk of going off the rails economically and politically, we shouldn't bet on our competitor failing. Americans need to be conscious of the new world order.

New York Times article - China's Spectaular Ascendence:

China is already a major driver of global growth. The country’s leaders have grown more confident on the international stage and have begun to assert greater influence in Asia, Africa and Latin America, with things like special trade agreements and multi billion-dollar resource deals.

“They’re exerting a lot of influence on the global economy and becoming dominant in Asia,” said Eswar Prasad, a professor of trade policy at Cornell and former head of the International Monetary Fund’s China division. “A lot of other economies in the region are essentially riding on China’s coattails, and this is remarkable for an economy with a low per capita income.”

Beijing is also beginning to shape global dialogs on a range of issues, analysts said. Last year it asserted that the dollar must be phased out as the world’s primary reserve currency.

…There are huge challenges ahead, though. Economists say China is too heavily dependent on exports and investment and needs to encourage greater domestic consumption — something it has struggled to do. More...

U.S. Education Gets Worser and Worser...

Wall Street Journal - 8-4-2010

"New York state education officials today acknowledged that hundreds of thousands of children had been misled into believing they were proficient in English and math, when in fact they were not."

"We are facing the hard truth that the gains in the past were simply not as advertised," said Merryl Tisch, the chancellor of the state Board of Regents.

Full article...

If you have any question as to whether our children are getting an education equal to other leading nations of the world, simply take my Third World Challenge - a sampler of the questions a 10th grader in India must answer to progress to 11th grade.

WARNING: Over 15,000 Americans have tried the test - not one has demonstrated the proficiency of 10th graders in India. Surprise!