Parenting Dichotomy - Western v. Asian Values and Their Role in Education

Parenting is the "third rail" of the U.S. education debate. In a desire to avoid giving offense, the role of parenting in K-12 education is rarely discussed.

Studying the facts, however, makes it clear that Asian children - even when born in the US - outperform other races in K-12 education. Asians are disproportionately represented
in science, math and music competitions; in enrollment in tech magnet schools; and in colleges of engineering and science.

It seems a legitimate, albeit very dangerous, question to ask:

Are Western/American students at a permanent academic disadvantage because of differing parental values?

Now Yale Law School professor Amy Chua has authored "Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother" - a cleared-eyed examination of the sharp contrasts between the parenting approach of Asian and Western parents.

A Wall Street Journal article by Chau summarizes the fundamental differences:

1- "my Western friends consider it strict make their children practice their instruments 30 minutes every day. For a Chinese mother, the first hour is the easy part. It's hours two and three that get tough."

2- "What Chinese parents understand is that nothing is fun until you're good at it. To get good at anything you have to work"

3- "Once a child starts to excel at something — whether it's math, piano, pitching or ballet — he or she gets praise, admiration and satisfaction. This builds confidence and makes the once not-fun activity fun."

4- "Chinese parents can order their kids to get straight A's. Western parents can only ask their kids to try their best."

5- "Western parents are concerned about their children's psyches. Chinese parents aren't. They assume strength, not fragility, and as a result they behave very differently."

6- "Chinese parents believe that they know what is best for their children and therefore override all of their children's own desires and preferences."

7- "Western parents try to respect their children's individuality, encouraging them to pursue their true passions, supporting their choices, and providing positive reinforcement and a nurturing environment.

By contrast, the Chinese believe that the best way to protect their children is by preparing them for the future, letting them see what they're capable of, and arming them with skills, work habits and inner confidence that no one can ever take away."

Comments

[Madison]

Most of the Asian countries are practicing more in family values and having a strict policies when it comes to parenting.

[bicicletas estáticas]

It's great to share all this information for parenthood.

[Walter]

I wish more Americans sounded like Jennifer, but sadly I think not. America is full of great, well-rounded, smart people, and also full of lazy, do you best, scared people. I was raised by my mother alone, for my father was a drug dealer and my mother got me away from that before I understood, but lead a life of welfare and Mr. Rogers which I thank that we had, but I pay for now that I am older and have a hard time being self relying. I think another reason China does better in parenting is from both parents raising the child. I think the US has more single mothers with no or crappy boyfriends raising children. I mean, I could put this in other words, but I think it will come out the same any way you say it.Families are not as important in America as they were 50 years ago. Not to say this is all the problems, but I think it explains alot. Feel free to debate.

[Jennifer G. Ruby, Esq.]

I suppose if not anything else, the book can provide food for thought. I was blessed to be "gifted" as a student, and I excelled in the math and sciences. I also lost my father when I was 5 years old, which I think has caused me to be an overachiever because I don't know when my journey will end and I want to cram EVERYTHING in. And, as an X-gen postulating the end of the world with wars, Nostradamus prophecies, and Y2K caused me to be well-rounded in anticipation of survival. But the world didn't end. Now, I am a lawyer/entrepreneur/nonprofit/mother. I may be one of the American exceptions rather than the rule. As I look at my 3.5 year old daughter and contemplate bringing another child into the world, I know there are things that they must learn like swimming, self-defense/martial arts, managing money, some form of music for creativity, a vocation/trade/profession, and overall self-sufficiency. I also know that I will do my best not to tear them down or to control them too tightly because some lessons are best learned by doing and failing - for some lessons that is a necessity. People forget how fundamental failure is for future success. Failure is how we all learned as children - to walk, eat, etc. But, play is another important component to learning - experimenting, imagining, succeeding, excelling, and failing. The bottom line for me is that there are a lot of different ways to parent. But, celebrating mediocrity and absentee parenting are not in MY game plan.